June 2007 Archives

Q. I am getting married in North Carolina in early October of this year. I am having a formal wedding and I wanted to know what ideas you can share with me for the informal rehearsal dinner the night before?
-Informal for Formal

A. Instead of having the typical dinner at a restaurant, which seems the norm these days, why not go for the fun factor and have a “clambake” in someone’s backyard? You can usually order the clambake “buckets” at gourmet food shops. Grill up corn on the grill and offer beer and wine chilled on ice in big buckets. Fill a backyard with oversized beach blankets, we love the ones at landsend.com and pile pillows for comfort. Put together a play list of music on your iPod of beach music from old Beach Boys and the Go-Gos to newer tunes. Perhaps even set up a volleyball net and croquet.

Or, skip dinner and have your rehearsal guests join you for afternoon tea. While they serve little sandwiches, no one ever seems to go hungry with the sandwiches, cakes, sweets and more that they pile on those multiple tiered serving dishes. And you can choose hot teas or iced tea.

For another casual, fun party, you could create your own mini Olympics by creating teams, having each guest wear a colored sash for their team and come up with games including baton races, sack races, hula hoop timing, count basketball shots in a minute and have chocolate medallions as prizes to signify gold, silver and bronze.

As a party favor you could offer a retro candy table, check out candycrate.com , and guests can fill up Chinese takeout containers that can be found at party stores with their favorite sweets.

Or, have a wine and cheese tasting party. Contact a good local wine shop or speak to a sommelier at one of your favorite restaurants to set up wine and cheese pairings. You can set up the get together at a happy hour time rather than the usual dinner hours. Have the wine merchant or sommelier guide people through the tastings and have all the accoutrements available like good baguettes, nuts, dried fruits and fruit pastes to work with the cheese.

Q. I am an opera singer looking for formal gowns that have sleeves. Where can I find them? Seems like all the gown designers have forsaken the woman with unattractive upper arms! 
-Solo Style Seeker 

A. You were right about dresses sans sleeves. I searched about 15 clothing sites and realized you’re up against a generous amount of gowns that are sleeveless and expensive. The best choices I found were all on edressme.com and nordstrom.com . Check out the “mother of the bride” sections to find the formal dresses you seek, many of them have sleeves and are still elegant and stylish.

from edressme.com , left to right: eDressMe Private Label Red Evening Gown, $275; Lace Mother of the Bride Gown, $750; Celebrity Inspired Evening Dresses by eDressMe, $410; Long sleeve Peach Mother of the Bride, $640; Short Sleeve Mother of the Bride Dresses by Jovani, $550

from nordstrom.com , left to right: JS Collections Brocade Jacket & Taffeta Skirt, $348; JS Collections Pleated Jacket & Skirt, $198; David Meister V-Neck Twist Front Jersey Gown, $368; JS Collections Shadow Stripe Dress with Bolero, $228; Cachet Mock Two Piece Sweater & Dress, $198

Q. My best friend has absolutely no booty to speak of, but now after all this time she wants one. We have been searching everywhere for a fanny panty. She really wants to find one before we go jean shopping next week.
-Booty Builder

A. I helped a girl on Tyra get the "bootylicious" look she always wanted with the help of a fanny-enhanced panty. Of course, I would have gladly given up some of my naturally enhanced butt if I could. If your friend wants to pull off the look, then be sure she tries on the padded panties, likes them and then tries on multiple pairs of jeans with and without them. She’ll either have to love the jeans with and without the special panties or only wear those jeans with the panties, which means she’ll need to buy two pairs of jeans.

left to right: Huit Just A Kiss padded shorty with cups, $55 at figleaves.com ; Tatiana Low Rise Formed Buttock Enhancer Brief Panty, $33 at herroom.com ; Nearly Me Hip & Rear Padded Panties, $44 at herroom.com

Q. I am the stepmother of the bride. We have a wonderful relationship although her mother does not care for me. Her mother will not pick a color for her gown. The groom's mother is going with a darker blue than the bridesmaids. The Bride's bouquet is hot pink, orange, and a blue ribbon – tropical theme. It is a 2:00 church wedding. What color do I get and should it be tea length or long. The bride has stated that she does not care either way or what color I wear. 
-Mrs. Step

A. I’ve said this to many mothers of the bride, mothers of the groom and plenty of others: do not get caught up in matching or accenting your dress color to that of the wedding. Find a great dress in a color that enhances your skin tone and flatters your shape. And most importantly, keep a wonderful smile on your face all day and enjoy the occasion. Don’t let the ex wife make you feel uncomfortable, but do realize that she gets first dibs on photo ops and she has the right to sashay her daughter around to family and friends. This is the bride's chance to shine as well as the mother's to beam with happiness.

Q. Your style advice is great, and I hope you can help me! I have a strapless dress in a solid berry/dark pink color. I have two weddings coming up that I'd like to wear it for but I'm not sure how to accessorize. Both weddings are traditional so I feel like I'd need a cover-up for the ceremony. One is in the evening in August and the reception will be nice, but not super-fancy. The next is in the afternoon in September and the reception is at one of the nicest and fanciest hotels in Dallas. I've thought about chocolate brown but is that too “fall” for August for a cover up and shoes? Do I choose a muted metallic? I'm 30 and want to look stylish but not too flashy!
-Accessory-Challenged

A. Don’t knock yourself, you’ve come up with some great ideas. My first choice would be chocolate for a wrap and even chocolaty bronze for heels. There’s also muted golds or silvery grays that would work. Just don’t wear black—it’s too boring and too much of a contrast unless it's in a satin fabric with some kind of detail like crystals. Some options for coverups:

left to right, all from nordstrom.com : Nordstrom Tissue-Weight Cashmere Wrap (available in virtually any color), $99; Elie Tahari 'Sirena' Jacket, $448; Robert Rodriguez Crop Jacket, $429; ECI Cropped Jacket, $78

Q. My daughter is the maid of honor in a wedding in January. The bride has picked out a beautiful apple red formal dress with a diamond-like broach and has chosen to accessorize with ivory shoes. My daughter and I think that the ivory would stand out too much against the red dress. What color shoe would you suggest?
-Ivory & Faux Ice

A. I would have suggested a pale or muted gold heel for sass or a neutral hue of deep cream or light tan for a sophisticated look. If you intend to approach the bride with a new color suggestion, do it delicately.

Q. I think your website is so great at giving advice. I've consulted it many times in times of stress and you've come through with answers each time! But I do have one question that I've been wondering about: how do you know if your jeans are too tight? I'm not talking about muffin tops--let's say they fit perfectly at the waist, but how do you know you've gone beyond chic to trashy from the tightness at the thigh area (and these are boot cut jeans with a bit of stretch in the material)? I've seen women (mostly the younger generation) wear jeans that seem like sausage casings, and I don't want to fall victim to that.
-Sausage Links

A. Generally, jean experts say you can buy jeans a size smaller since they will stretch over time and those with Lycra and Spandex will stretch even more. I’m not sure I always agree. Always skip the dryer - you’ll preserve the color longer and avoid a bit of the tightness when you first put them on after washing. And wear your jeans multiple times before washing - like 3-7 times. I, too, have found great jeans that fit everywhere, yet seem a little snug in the thighs. I figure one crease is fine and with a few deep knee bends or squats in my jeans (don’t laugh-plenty of us try multiple ways to get a little “give” in our jeans!) then I’m fine. When you start counting the rings or lines that crease across the back of your thighs, then it’s time to skip those jeans and try on another pair.

When you go jean shopping, you need patience, the right underwear and a good attitude. Be willing to laugh at yourself and be willing to try on up to 20 pairs without getting hung up on the size. Consult a salesperson for help and try on multiple brands.

Q. I'm in a real tangle here- I've been scouring the web for advice on the type of jeans I should be buying for my figure, with no luck! I have pretty skinny thighs (not skinny, skinny though) and I’m smallish on the hips. When I tend to buy jeans my butt always looks so flat. What type of jeans should I be buying to make my end look a little bigger? I know jeans with pockets on the back help, but what else?
-Flat Booty

A. You are among the majority of women who don’t like their butts, but you’ve got the right start. Look for jeans with patch pockets, meaning pockets put on top of the jeans, or seek out jeans with angled pockets and seams like James Jeans that are meant to give a curve to the rear. Pockets should be centered on your rear since pockets spaced farther apart will make your bottom look wider, and lower placed pockets (the ones that are longer than your butt) will make it look flatter. Some trouser jeans with no pockets at all can make your rear view instantly rounder. Also, skinny jeans will give the illusion of a slightly larger hip area and are a great option for someone with slim thighs.

Another tip: if you intend to buy jeans with Lycra or spandex, then be sure you don’t buy ones with too much stretch as it may lead to the unflattering condition known as “saggy diaper.”

Be ready to try on up to 20 pairs until you find a pair that satisfies your butt enhancing needs. Here are a few flattering styles to start with:

left to right, from couturecandy.com : James Jeans Decker Darted Trouser in Bisazza; James Jeans Hector 5 Pocket Highrise in Venom; Taverniti So Sergeant Pepper Skinny in Rinse, Hudson Tucker Pin Ankle Jean in Eternal; True Religion Billy in Urban Cowboy

Q. I am 5'6" and weigh 135. I have had two children with one being a c-section and I have a small "pouch" left from the surgery. I do not like the way it looks in the current clothing I have. Do you have any advice on cute tops and shorts/pants that will cover the pouch and not make me look like I am pregnant again? I wear about a size 8.
-Belly Banish

You want to look for pants and shorts that aren’t on the down low, meaning: skip low rise styles. Jeans and pants that sit on your waist will give you a slimmer appearance. Look for bottoms that have a little Lycra to give you room to breathe while helping to slim. Check out Not Your Daughter’s Jeans , they have an endless variety that will slim your tummy. Don’t let the name throw you, these are not “mom jeans ”, these are stylish bottoms that will give you good tummy tuck control.

Don’t forget about the infinite intimate apparel options that can help flatten your tummy so you can still wear what you want on the outside. Look at choices from Spanx , Barely There and Donna Karan The Body Perfect Collection which you can find at barenecessities.com and figleaves.com . Also, check out our style recipe Underneath It All for more slimming ideas.

As for tops, empire waisted tops can hide a tummy, but be aware that too much extra fabric can also billow out and make you look pregnant. Look for tops that have a bit of stretch again and be sure the tops are long enough to cover your stomach fully without rising up.

Q. I need help with a summer dress. I am breastfeeding my five month old son, and I have to always wear a nursing bra - no strapless bras this summer. I would love a cute summer dress for a few parties going on this summer, but it seems like all the dresses have spaghetti straps. I just turned 27 and want something cute!
-Top Coverage

A. You want coverage and you want to look cute - nothing too complicated, old or body baring, so you can still wear a full-style nursing bra. And of course you want options and a chance to enjoy the dress when the nursing is over. You’ll need a dress that won’t bare the bra straps and isn’t low cut. Look for fun mini dresses to stay cool or a dress with front buttons or a wrap style just in case you want to bring the little one along and you find a private spot to nurse. You can also opt to wear a tank top under any style that shows too much cleavage or won't hide bra straps.

Here are some options:

left to right: Inset-Waist Jersey Dress, $98 at bananarepublic.com ; Diane von Furstenberg Bundette Shirtdress, $298 at saks.com ; Diane von Furstenberg St. Jude Wrap Dress, $325 at saks.com ; Charles Nolan Vintage Print Dress, $408 at saks.com ; Kimono-Sleeve Knit Dresses, $24.50 at oldnavy.com ; Anchor-Print Shirtdress, $150 at jcrew.com

Q. Is it acceptable to wear "sandalfoot" hose with strappy sandals and a knee-length dress? I have a black-tie gala to attend but have shins that look like, well, (at 30 with 2 kids) I've been playing soccer with no shin-guards...should I go with the hose and sandals or go with a less-fancy black pump?
-Black and Blue Shins

A. I’m not a fan of hosiery in the summer. Would tinted body moisturizer help diminish the look of your bruised shins? If you choose hosiery, be sure it’s sheer sandalfoot and go for a transparent style or a sheer that matches your dress. Make sure any visible seams are tucked underneath your toes. And don’t wear too strappy a sandal that completely shows off the hosiery.

Q. I am looking for a suggestion on what to wear that is "dressy white and blue" yacht party.
-Boat Bliss

A. Aaahh nautical fancy. I assume you’ll be on a yacht or at a yacht club. I can help with that since I’ve been to several yacht clubs this summer with my beau who sails quite a bit. I love the idea of a white and blue party and definitely believe a dress is the best option. I am clearly obsessed with dresses this summer and they just “work" so well for every occasion. While this is obviously a nautical party in nature, there is no reason you have to succumb to that theme. You will look fresh and stylish in any of the dresses I’ve suggested below or take them as a guide when you shop online or look in your closet.

left to right: Suzi Chin Maggy Boutique Dot Halter Dress, $148 at nordstrom.com ; Elie Tahari 'Brielle' Dress, $468 at nordstrom.com ; Shoshanna Strapless Eyelet Dress (replace the white belt with a navy or navy and white ribbon), $360 at nordstrom.com ; Strapless Guest of Wedding Dresses by BCBG, $280 at edressme.com ; Kay Unger Multi Stripe Dress, $310 at saks.com

Add one of these fun nautical-chic pieces from jcrew.com :

Q. I'm getting married in October and my bridesmaids dresses are chocolate brown. My dress is an ivory color with Swarovski crystals that are clear and silver. I will be wearing silver jewelry and other items in the wedding are also silver. I have picked out necklaces for my bridesmaids that are copper/gold and the chain is gold. Will the gold clash with the silver that I will be wearing? If so, what color necklace would you suggest?
-Chain Reaction

A. Just because you are wearing silver jewelry and there is silver in your color scheme does not mean that everything has to be matchy-matchy. You don’t want your wedding to look like a group of girl clones that match the silver and candlesticks. I generally am not a fan of having the bridesmaids wear the same exact thing from head to toe-dresses, sure, but it’s nice to have a little change when it comes to the heels or jewelry. Stick with your original choice of the gold for the girls—the color will keep the dress warm in tone.

Q. I have been searching the web for this answer and came across your website. I am hosting a 50th wedding anniversary party for my parents at a very nice banquet facility. I have purchased a tea length, thin strapped, mauve colored dress, (with jacket), that is very sheer. The dress does have a "slip" of the same color underneath but you can still see my legs right through the dress. I heard about the Spanx brand undergarments and purchased the Higher Power bodysuit in nude color and will also be wearing a strapless bra under this ensemble. My issue is that you can still see my legs and I do not feel comfortable with this at all. Is it appropriate to be seen like that? Do I find/purchase a longer slip to go underneath? Do I go without? Do I wear nude nylons with my strappy sandals?
-Wary of Baring it

A. Slips do tend to be an item of the past. And it seems like you are doing quite a bit of intimate layering already. As long as the most intimate parts of you are covered then you should feel confident to walk around the party.

And nylons with a strappy sandal is generally a no-no unless you wear a peep toe. You don’t want to “scream” that you are wearing hosiery so the less strappy the better.

Q. I've never been a big jewelry wearer, but I realize how much it can pull together an outfit. My style is really classic and casual, and I'd love to find a very delicate, simple gold necklace with a small charm that I can wear with (almost) anything. I don't have a whole lot to spend, but I want something nice. Any ideas? 
-Jewelry-less

A. Well, gold doesn’t come cheap and if you want to wear it with most everything in your wardrobe, it’s worth it to invest in a great necklace that will last you “forever” rather than something that will fade and turn another color. There are plenty of choices that don’t cost your paycheck. Look for a gold chain with a pendant or charm that is delicate and feminine alone on it’s own, but also think of it as a layering piece that you can wear with another gold necklace of another length. I found several lovely choices for you:

left to right: Gorjana Three Petal Necklace, $95 at shopbop.com ; Nordstrom 14k Gold Pendant Necklace, $98 at nordstrom.com ; Tiffini Dooris Luna Necklace, $180 at tiffinidooris.com ; Giles & Brother Small Sparrow Necklace, $200 at shopbop.com ; Catherine Weitzman 18k Gold Vermeil Small Lotus Disc Pendant Necklace, $88 at blueluxe.com ; Julie Sandlau 18K Gold Plated Sterling Silver Clear Crystal Locket and Leaf Charm Necklace, $180 at blueluxe.com ; Pade Vavra 22KT Gold Vermeil Coral Branch Necklace on Double Chain, $99 at blueluxe.com

Q. I love your site! I saw that you are from NYC and was wondering if you could help me... I need some boutique suggestions. I am coming to NYC this weekend and only have really Sat to shop. I was hoping to go to Greenwich or SoHo or anywhere and hit 3 or 4 smaller stores. (Rather than get lost on all the floors of Barney's or haul up and down 5th Avenue or Madison Avenue looking at $2000 dresses.) I've been looking around but can't seem to find a good guide of cute/hip boutiques in neighborhoods. The brands I like are Nanette Lepore, Juicy Couture, Cynthia Rowley, Ella Moss, James Pearse. I am a 35 year old mom of two -- generally a size 8, tall. I went to the Nanette Lepore store last time I was there but then was at a total loss for anywhere else to go after that and ended up getting lost.
-Lost in New York

A. Ooh, you'll have a great visit. Stick to downtown. The three neighborhoods you want to visit are SoHo , NoLIta (which is just east of SoHo) and the Lower East Side which is farther east of NoLIta and all walkable. There are great shops in all of those areas including Cynthia Rowley, Alice + Olivia, Tory Burch, Tracy Feith, Mayle, Olive & Bette, Calypso, Nanette Lepore, Foley & Corinna and much more. The best way to see it all in one day--and it is completely possible to enjoy a day of shopping and walking--is to do a little mapping out ahead of time. Start in SoHo and break for lunch in NoLIta or the Lower East Side. Get more detailed info by going to citysearch.com and clicking on shopping and the neighborhoods you want and then you can map out your destinations.

Some good lunch or dinner spots:

NoLIta: Café Habana (small Cuban restaurant, always popular), Bar Marche (lovely little restaurant with great food-I love the fish tacos, good salads as well), Rice to Riches (mod designed place for rice pudding in every flavor imaginable--just go and sample a few flavors)

Lower East side: Clinton St. Bakery (on Clinton off of Houston), and a great fun dinner spot is Stanton Social on Stanton St. near Ludlow (yummy food served tapas style--a great chance to try lots of different foods and the drinks and dessert as delicious as well- it can be a little loud though)