Q. What is appropriate for a funeral, must we wear black?
A. It is no longer necessary to wear all black. But certainly, dress in a conservative and respectful manner. You can wear a top and skirt, a dress or pants and top. I wouldn’t wear bright colors from head to toe. One part of your wardrobe should be a darker hue and avoid bright busy patterns.
Q. I am attending a friends wedding in Chicago and just purchased the following dress for the event. Please note that the dress is longer on me. It ends about one inch above my knee. Do you think it appropriate to wear to a wedding? I am really unsure.
-Animal Print Wonder
A. Thank goodness it is longer on you. The dress is definitely working its sex appeal. It seems more fitting for a club than a friend’s wedding, sorry.
Q. I'm going to South Beach, Miami for a week in August and I wanted some tips on what to wear around shops during the day, to the beach, and to dinner/bars in the evenings. I'm 21 years old, 5'3, and 125 lbs and usually shy away from crazy patterns. I want to look fresh! The big problem is that I'm on a college student's budget...any ideas?
-Young and Style Uncertain
A. You are headed to South Beach, Miami which by clothing definition means sexy, skimpy and vibrant colors. This is the time to embrace a bright pattern, show a little skin with shoulders or legs and deal with sweltering heat. You can create a fun, flirty beach town wardrobe with a small budget by checking out sites like wetseal.com , delias.com , jcrew.com , oldnavy.com and urbanoutfitters.com . There are plenty of summer sales happening and you can use that to your advantage to pack stylish clothes for hot weather.
You’ll need a few dresses for day strolling on Lincoln Avenue or Ocean Drive plus dancing at the local hot spots. Shorts, minis, tanks and camis for morning walks to breakfast at places like News Café and jersey or cotton dresses that can work double duty as a cover up by day over your swimsuit and dinner attire by night. Pack your sunscreen, big sunglasses, bronzer or tinted moisturizer and you’re nearly ready to hit the beach.
left to right:
1. Bra Cup Border Dress, $22.50 at wetseal.com
2. Molly Dress, $44.50 at delias.com
3. Border Print Tube Dress, $34.50 at wetseal.com
4. Airy cotton short halter dress, $68 at jcrew.com
(add a belt and sandals for night, and then wear it as a swim cover up the next day)
5. Bra Cup Smocked Cami, $15.50 at wetseal.com
6. 9" chino short, $29.50 (sale) at jcrew.com
7. Coco Halter, $19.50 at delias.com
8. Stretch chino mini, $39.50 (sale) at jcrew.com
Q. I am getting ready to go to college next month and I need to buy a backpack. I haven't used a backpack for a very long time and I want it to be unique and stylish, but am having a hard time finding just that. Can you help me find a cute backpack? And preferably for under $200.
-Soured Search
A. There are plenty of backpack choices under $200 as long as you don’t need a top designer name or all leather. In fact, Jansport offers endless prints and patterns for the same style backpack at zappos.com . Kudos to you for looking for a way to keep the weight of your books distributed on your shoulders. There are basic flap or multi zip styles and some even come with pockets and attachments for an iPod plus drawstring top packs. If you’re still not satisfied, look for a large messenger bag.
left to right:
1. Perlina Handbags Duplex Backpack, $217.95 at zappos.com
2. Jansport Big Student, $43.95 at zappos.com
3. Billabong Audry Backpack, $39.50 at buckle.com
4. OGIO Urboe 07, $63.95 at zappos.com
5. High Sierra Mia, $26.99 at ebags.com
6. Bellino Luciano Backpack, $66.60 at ebags.com
Q. I could really use your help, my dear hubby is dragging me to a work event where he will be receiving an honor. Attire is "party elegant or business casual" and there will be cocktails followed by a sit-down dinner and "recognition presentations.” Can you translate? I feel like a sundress won't quite cut it, but can I get away with a nice heavier knit skirt and a dressy sweater? And more importantly, what should my hubby wear? Help! My work is very casual and I don't know what to do at a fancy corporate event like this!
-Business Befuddled
A. Well, you’re certainly excited about the night out. The term “party elegant” and “business casual” do mean different clothing suggestions. Since your hubby is being recognized, his best look would be to wear a suit or a sport jacket and pants. And since you’ll be on his arm all evening you need to compliment the look of your man receiving recognition even if you expect to be bored. A sundress sounds too cutesy, but a dress without spaghetti straps or a skirt and dressy top will certainly fit the evening dress code(s). And wear heels or strappy sandals with a heel.
Q. I am seeing a lot of patent shoes for the Fall. I always thought patent shoes were only for Spring and Summer. What's the best way to wear them? And, can I wear my red patent peep toes into September?
-Patent Potential
A. Patent leather shoes, accessories and even clothing with patent embellishments are a huge trend that continues into Fall. It escaped the “only wear” in Spring and Summer several years ago and now there are countless stylish options to wear all year long. So wear your peep toes this Fall and pair them with opaque tights when the temperature dips. And check out these shoes to shine in this Fall:
left to right:
1. Stuart Weitzman Chatup, $280 at zappos.com
2. Vince Camuto Heaven, $125 at piperlime.com
3. Jessica Simpson 'Thalia' Bootie, $118.95 at nordstrom.com
4. AK Anne Klein Willa, $79 at piperlime.com
Q. Do you think pantyhose is a must with a knee length skirt in the office? I just started my first professional job and I'm 22. I am not really sure. Also I don't know really how to ask because I work with all men which also makes me believe bare legs might be inappropriate. I really want to wear skirts but without looking slutty. I just feel I am too young for pantyhose.
-Leg Look
A. I understand your uncertainty and gold star to you for wanting to make the appropriate professional impression. Depending on what kind of job you have could determine if pantyhose are expected or not.
Instead of asking a male coworker, stop by or call human resources and ask them if there are any written or expected wardrobe guidelines for both men and women. I’m not a fan of companies expecting women to wear pantyhose all year long especially during summer months when it’s hot and uncomfortable. I believe if your skirt is long enough, knee length and not a mini, then it should be acceptable to go sans hose during the warm weather months. I’m sure you won’t look slutty, just don’t wear a stiletto heel at the office.
Q. Can you wear black shoes if you are wearing a dark blue shirt? -Color Confusion
A. Yes, you can wear black shoes with a dark blue shirt - in fact, navy and black is a hot color combination this season and for fall. Navy, midnight and any dark blue shades are generally the most 
difficult to try finding an exact match to your blue clothing, but an exact match can be boring. A safe bet is black, but don’t hesitate to try other color combinations like olive, burgundy, eggplant.
Q. Today, I got sent home for unprofessional attire. I had on a suit jacket with capris. They were dress capris. Please, what is the exact difference between gauchos, capris and cropped pants?
-Feel Unfair
A. Before you worry about being sent home or have it happen again, find out your company’s wardrobe policy from human resources and sit down with your boss and discuss his/her expectations for your appearance. 
Any miscalculation in your wardrobe or appearance can affect your advancement in the company. With a few minor adjustments and little money spent, you can create an appearance that clearly shows your dedication to your job and where you want to go with your next position. There is truth behind the statement “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” - meaning, always dress better. If you don’t like the wardrobe policy at your job, which is obviously conservative, and don’t wish to adhere to the changes, then it’s probably time to look for a new gig with fewer restrictions.
As for the difference between gauchos, capris and cropped pants: Gauchos are wide calf-length pants that were copied in the late '60s from Andalusian riding suits a la South American cowboys; Capris are slim fitting pants that end above the ankle, popular since the 1950s and named for the Italian resort island of Capri; and Cropped Pants fill the rest of the category of straight cut pants that end at various lengths from mid calf to ankle. And just to add a few other terms: Pedal Pushers are below-the-knee straight-cut pants that often have a cuff while Bermuda Shorts are just-above-the-knee shorts that fit close to the leg.
Q. What would be a good choice of bottom for a solid gray slim fitting halter top this season? My lower half is heavier than my top but I don’t want to wear a skirt.
-Balance My Bottom
A. Black, grey, charcoal, navy and white are colors that will work with your new halter top. As for pants or Bermuda style shorts, avoid bottoms with embellishments, patch pockets or tapered legs. Wide banded pants will give the illusion of a smaller waist and hips and a smooth trouser style will balance your proportions especially ones with a slight flare. Plus, fewer pockets will lead to less bulk. Here are some options for you:
left to right:
1. Alice + Olivia Wide Waistband Pant, $253 at shopbop,com
2. Parameter Pleated Denim Pant in Midnight, $215 at couturecandy.com
3. Wardrobe Stretch Denim Trousers, $68 at nordstrom.com
4. Karen Kane Cuffed Pants, $108 at nordstrom.com
5. Nanette Lepore 'Tantalizing' Trousers, $215 at nordstrom.com
6. Billy Blues Stretch Herringbone Pants, $88 at nordstrom.com
Q. I have many questions as the mother of the bride. October 20th wedding in New England - 3:00 pm - bridesmaids will wear cocktail length sage green dresses with chocolate sashes. Groomsmen will be in navy blazers and khaki colored dress slacks, white shirts with green Vineyard Vines ties. My daughter will be in a beautiful non-embellished ivory satin gown. Reception will be at a lodge-like venue. Not black tie but certainly not informal. I've posted the dress that I have ordered through
Talbots
. It also comes in midnight blue (which I've also purchased). I won't decide between the 2 colors until I see what mink brown actually looks like. First, do you think the dress is dressy enough - the fabric is silk dupioni - the fit is great for me and I do not want to wear full-length. If so, what would you suggest for the color of the shoes and clutch for the brown dress? For the midnight blue dress? And what would you suggest for jewelry for that neckline? Wrap or should I have a jacket made while in the church?
-Color Quandry
A. As mother of the bride, you are clearly making good choices for your dress even with your multiple questions. It’s smart to have purchased both dress colors so you can try them on and determine which color is most flattering. For the brown, consider a bronze or coppery gold heel. And for the midnight navy you can probably get away with black, but a muted grey silver, gold heel or deep blue would give it more sass. As for coverage at the church, I’d suggest taking your final dress choice with you to department stores to see if you can find a jacket that works, but otherwise a lightweight wrap will surely work since it’s not a black tie affair. We love the lightweight ones from Love Quotes .
For jewelry, keep the pieces light, not chunky. For a necklace wear something pendant-like for the v-neck of the dress and choose earrings that are slightly larger with a possible drop effect. And consider thin bangle bracelets on one wrist. If you’re concerned about skipping hose to wear a peep toe, then I’d suggest indulging in a spray tan on your legs a day or two prior to the event. I’ve picked out several suggestions for shoes and jewelry as a guide.
Stick with golds, bronze and copper for the brown dress and silver and pewter hues for the navy dress:
1.
BCBGirls Lyma, $92.95 at
zappos.com
(also available in pewter)
2.
Nine West Haelli, $82.95 at
zappos.com
(also available in silver)
3.
Report Dione, $178.95 at
zappos.com
4. Anna Beck Floating Circle Necklace, $238 at
nordstrom.com
5. Julie Sandlau Smokey Quartz and Cubic Zirconia Drop Necklace, $127.99 at
blueluxe.com
6. Julie Sandlau Clear Cubic Zirconia and Champagne Zirconia Flower Drop Earrings, $198 at
blueluxe.com
Q. My husband and I moved into a new house with a great yard this past Spring. We’re planning our first party and we want it to be outdoors since it’s summertime and we love to BBQ. I want to impress my guests with a sit down dinner outside, but want them to mingle around the yard as well. I need ideas! I’ve been unpacking boxes for so long I feel like my head is full of cardboard. Oh, and I’d like to give a party favor as well.
-Destination Outside
A. I’ve got several ideas to help get you started with your party planning. Whether you have a clambake, grill the usual burgers and hot dogs or create a signature cold summer drink, there are a few extra touches to help complete the success of the party. Why not bring a beach feeling to your backyard with these ideas:
Serving food like ribs or a clambake can be messy so use an oversized striped beach towel as a tablecloth . We love the ones from landsend.com
Decorate for your clambake with lobster corn holders and a lobster pot to cook lobster or corn. The lobster pot can also double as a beer cooler. (both items below from surlatable.com )
Set the scene with beach themed accessories like 'pectin shell' party lights and a clam shell toothpick holder with seashell toothpicks :
Q: I love your site and know that since my question involves your home city, you will have all kinds of great ideas. I will be in New York City for my honeymoon from November 11-16. My fiance and I would appreciate any ideas on what to wear. We plan to do some shopping while we're there, but want to look fashionable and still be comfortable and weather-appropriate while shopping and touring the city. What would work for walking around Central Park/the city? Going to the theater? We would also love any particular recommendations you'd have for wear to go, eat, etc. Thanks!
- New York Bound Bride-to-be
A. These are my favorite questions to answer since they have to do with my favorite place in the world-my home, New York City. Since it’s November, the weather can sometimes be unpredictable. I am usually enjoying my last days of playing tennis outdoors and still riding my bike with a fleece pullover. So bring a jacket, some sweaters and pull out your chic low heeled boots for walking around the city. Skip the athletic sneakers and pack a stylish pair of Pumas, Adidas or Converse for days when you’ll really want to explore the city. Add peep toe heels or a fab pair of pumps for evening. Pack dark jeans, a few sweaters, a jacket (not a coat-it’s too early) or a belted trench that hits just below the knee so it’s perfect for dresses and skirts (I love my Burberry trench-it was a well-worth-it investment piece), a few pairs of pants, a dress for dinners out, a day dress that can be worn with tights and low heeled boots for a day of shopping around the city, a skirt that will work with several tops and layering pieces, a white button down shirt, a great belt to wear with pants or belted around a dress, and accessories like an Hermes scarf (or something like it) and jewelry. Your husband should definitely pack a sport coat for some dinners and to wear to a Broadway show or other events plus a few sweaters including one he can wear under the sport coat.
For shopping:
Uptown/Midtown
- Check out the high prices and finesse of New York’s favorite department stores with a stroll through Barneys on Madison Avenue and Bergdorf’s on Fifth.
For a short shopping spree and lunch, head to the Meatpacking district and weave up and down 12th through 14th between Gansevoort and Washington. Stop by Stella McCartney and Jeffrey’s. Have lunch at Son Cubano, Nero or Markt for mussels and Belgium fries or a piece of pie at the Little Pie Company. Or, have a drink at the chic Hotel Gansevoort.
SoHo is easy to navigate and has become the closest we get to an outdoor mall with everything from boutiques like Scoop and Olive & Bettes to known shops like Anthropologie and Prada. Stop at Dos Caminos for margaritas and made to order guacamole.
NoLIta and Lower East Side are the “of the moment” places to shop (although we New Yorkers have known about it for years) so head east from SoHo and wander into the little boutiques in search of something hip and chic to purchase.
Q. My husband and I were recently married in a very small ceremony in Hawaii and afterwards spent our honeymoon visiting a few islands. Now that we’re back with family and friends and starting our lives together, we want to throw a big backyard party that’s casual and inexpensive as our substitute reception. Please help us with ideas.
-Party Potential
A. Extend the environment you enjoyed at your wedding and have a luau party with your friends and family. Send out invites that show the theme and ask guests to dress for a Hawaiian party. (Of course, be ready for plenty of bad, loud shirts on the men, but that’s part of the fun!)
Create a menu that is easy to prepare. Look for foods you can make a day or few days ahead of time and marinate pork, chicken and other meat the night before; it will be a little less expensive than serving fish. Put someone in charge of the BBQ duty so you and your new husband can enjoy the party. For dessert, carve a large watermelon into a basket shape and fill scooped out space with fresh fruit like pineapple, mango and of course watermelon. Instead of cake and pie, serve fuss-free cupcakes. If you choose to make the food yourselves, rather than hire a caterer, then consider hiring a bartender/server(s) to help serve food and drinks. They can usually be found at local cooking or bartending schools for about $20-25 and hour.
Have games like a limbo stick ready and give the girls and guys fake grass skirts to wear while dancing. There are plenty of string lights, tiki torches, servingware and party accessories to pull together a fun, affordable luau theme event to help extend the celebration of your wedding. Create a music play list of beach songs, traditional hula music, and add in the theme of Hawaii 5-O.
The invites (from finestationery.com ):
For the table (from plumparty.com ):
Set the scene (umbrella cover from target.com ):
Hang tiki lights and hand out leis and hula skirts to complete the luau atmosphere. And have fun!
Q. I am invited to a yacht party that is also a first date. What do I wear? Do I wear wedge heels or flip-flops? Cargo capris?
-Boat Wear
A. The word yacht brings up images of wealth, status, and certainly better clothes than flip flips and cargo capris. So skip the super casual garb and put on something a little dressier like a skirt and cute top with wedge sandals or white pants and a striped top and metallic flats or even a lightweight summer dress and sandals. And remember, a first date is the only time you get to make a good first impression so it is always best to dress up a bit rather than go schlumpy. Leave the cargo carpris for a sporty active date.
Q. I'm getting married on a Saturday night in December. I already have my dress - it's by Amsale and it's long, simple and elegant. However, I love clothes and fashion and I plan to change into another dress after dinner. I'm looking for something very fashion forward, not trendy, but more of-the-moment than a regular wedding dress. I definitely want the second dress to be white (or ivory / off white) and short so that it's great for dancing and moving around in. I also would like to be able to wear it again if possible. It doesn't have to be a wedding dress from a wedding dress designer, especially since I don't want to pay wedding dress prices (already did that once!). Do you have any suggestions for dresses or designers that may make the type of dress I'm looking for?
-Dress to Dance
A. Glad you plan to have genuine fun at your wedding! Too many brides look back years later and can’t remember the food or dancing since they spent so much time going table to table to say hi to plenty of relatives and parents' friends they rarely see or know. Eat, drink, dance and be merry. Make the grand impression in your wedding dress, get the photos taken care of, mingle and eat the dinner you painstakingly chose. Then change into a shorter fabulous dress and dance the night away with your new husband and friends.
These dresses will work on the dance floor, at another affair and keep you cool indoors:
1. BCBG Max Azria Lace Empire Mini Dress, $400 at saks.com
2. Robert Rodriguez Ruffled Silk Dress, $396 at neimanmarcus.com
3. BCBG Max Azria 'D Esprit' Trimmed Point Strapless Dress, $440 at nordstrom.com
4. Carmen Marc Valvo Pleated Chiffon Cocktail Dress, $565 at saks.com
5. BCBG Max Azria Strapless Appliqué Dress, $396 at nordstrom.com
6. Carmen Marc Valvo Sequin Lace Dress, $568 at nordstrom.com
Q. I am turning 35 next month and consider myself to be fairly hot (for my age - ha!). I would like to find a backless dress. It seems like since I've been looking for a backless dress, I cannot find one - of course. Any ideas on where I can get one without spending a fortune?
-Bare Back
A. Adore a girl that has great self-confidence. One tip when choosing a backless dress: avoid anything too short or too tight - showing TOO much skin is never chic.
Bare that back at your birthday in one of these hot dresses:
1. Holly Toya Dress with Twist Rope Back, $185 at couturecandy.com
2. LaROK Joyce Dress in Cream, $187 at couturecandy.com
3. Alice + Olivia Paris Dress, $231 at shopbop.com
4. Rag & Bone Silk Mini Dress, $231 at shopbop.com
